Today we’ll discuss something I’ve put a minimal amount of thought and time into and even less time preparing for you in a blog. Why? Because I’m going to use a fuck ton of links if I can, which means very little work for me, but a shit load of reward for you. Aren’t you lucky I love you?
You bet your goddamn ass you are.
This months exert comes from my own pending novel. I can’t tell you to turn to a certain page in your bible to read this one, and so, like you’re my bitch kindergarten students.. it’s story time, motherfuckers.
Subduing a zombie is no easy trick. In fact, it is an impossible one. Music is often thought to tame even the most savage of beasts, but I swear to you all, it will not with a zombie. So don’t waste your time. Drugs, music.. non of it work. Trust me, I’ve tried. The best way to subdue a zombie is to blow its fucking head off with a shotgun.
Story time is up. Nap time! Later hoes.
Time for some fuckin credentials for this blog. How do I word this in such a way as I’ve never worded it before? I don’t. Basically the fact that I continue to restate over and over again why I’m qualified to tell you the truth is a misnomer but I do it because you need that from me. So I give it to you. I give it to you hard, and I give it to you good. And deep.
So this time, I remind you that not only am I the genius who runs this goddamned blog site, but I’m also the author and the most deplorable editor of all that you see and read here. Also I’m the graphic artist.
What does this mean to you? Nothing. It means everything to me. It means that I’m fuckin in charge and I’m allowed to make up explain whatever bullshit reasons I want to force feed down your fuckin throats truths that you need to know to fulfill your pathetic wonderful lives.
So in case you forgot because you don’t fucking listen anyways I used to be a DJ. As a DJ I spent many hours in a dark room with a low salary playing music for your personal enjoyment. I can’t tell you what radio station it was, but the cocksuckers fired me. Apparently you’re not supposed to say fuck on the radio? Who knew? Not this guy. And so I was infused with a vast knowledge of music stemming from early times in the history of man (you’ll
Ahh, now we’re ready.
Iconic songs. How can one decide what is iconic and what isn’t? Well that’s a pretty simple task when you’re an over opinionated asshole like me. But let’s draw it out for those of you who have a simpler mind.
- Become an asshole
- have an opinion
- think you’re always right
- tell everyone you’re always right
- listen to music
- learn the definition of iconic
- write list
Some of you might be saying, Hey wait! That’s me except… I don’t know what iconic means. Well, you’re welcome bitch.
i·con·ic [ahy-kon-ik]
adjective
1. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of an icon.
2.Art . (of statues, portraits, etc.) executed according to aconvention or tradition.
-Dictionary.com
Maybe you’re still confused. Which doesn’t surprise me. So lets go to the never wrong wikipedia. My favorite.
A cultural icon can be a symbol, logo, picture, name, face, person, building or other image that is readily recognized and generally represents an object or concept with great cultural significance to a wide cultural group. A representation of an object or person, or that object or person may come to be regarded as having a special status as particularly representative of, or important to, or loved by, a particular group of people, a place, or a period in history.
Get it now? Good, let’s dive in, because I’m tired, and I want a cookie.
Before I begin, you should know that because I’m fucking badass awesome like this.. I made some new graphics for this blog. I also used a really fuckin gay color for it. Why? Because gay people like colors too, asshole.
25. Pink Floyd- The Wall
I admit, it was tough to put this song on the list. Because I hate Floyd with the passion of a million fires of hell. Basically, I hate them.. because they suck. But if you’re a stoned drug addict or a recovering one, or a former one, this band idolizes everything you think you understand in the world. Which you don’t, and you never did. Neither did they. Because they were fucking stoned too. To truly understand what Floyd was talking about in this song and every other song.. you really need to be on acid. What did they mean? Who knows, but its iconic. Why? Because it speaks volumes to you if you’re stoned a lot.
24. The Buggles- Video Killed the Radio Star
This song really kinda sucks too, I mean let’s face the facts. But what makes this song so iconic? It’s the fact that it was the first music video played on MTV way back when, kids.. way back.. when they actually played music videos. Before all the fucking gay shit like Jersey Shore took over. As awful as this song is.. its still way better than fucking Jersey Shore. Goddamn!
23. 4 Non Blondes- What’s up?
Do you remember this song? Because I sure as fuck do. These bitches were relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of music but they did do one thing that helped out many other singers… they ushered in that era of music in the 90’s where every band had some kind of edgy female lead singer. So people like Alanis Morrisette.. She knows what I’m talking about. Also, bands like Candlebox.. you’re lucky they showed that you can used the word HEY! Over and over again.. and still have a hit. And I don’t just mean as some kind of eventuating accent. I mean as one of the main fucking words.
22. Bon Jovi – Livin’ on a Prayer
Oh yah, I fuckin went there. I don’t care what you say, this song is goddamned iconic. It defined that plight that we all feel at some point in our lives and if we have that special someone to walk through hell with, you know you’ll be alright. Regrettably, life usually is a bitch and most of us are alone and don’t have that special someone so its just depressing, but if you’re Bon Jovi, you’ve got alotta special someones. Because you’re Bon Fuckin Jovi. Whatever the case, you know it also screams 80’s rock better than most ballads or anthems, and so its on the fuckin list. I told you its my list.
21. Steve Miller Band – The Joker
Again we have one of those songs that stoners all over the world unite around. They have no idea what it’s actually saying, but they have to love it, because he’s a joker, a smoker, and a midnight toker. Fuck yah man, if you’re going to love some reefer smoking music this is way better than Reggae. So I say give it to them. It’s also kind of a pretty little love song. Lovey dovey lovey dovey. Get down on this shit, don’t hate it, even if its really not that great of a song.. its still fuckin iconic.
20. Madonna – Like a Virgin
Look, here’s the honest truth. You cannot make a list of iconic music without including the Material Whore.. like her or hate her, she brought power to women in pop music in the 80s. Not only that but she has fucked a shit ton of people and never lost her popularity over being a whore. That’s pretty impressive. The truth is though, I can’t stand Madonna, but what she has done musically with her career is beyond contesting. She’s been a superstar longer than I have. Though that’s not saying much, I’ve only been one for a couple years. But I still haven’t had sex with her. This song, Like a Virgin was not only unfortunately overly popular, but widely accepted in a very conservative time in America. That’s pretty impressive. Bow.. but do it from a distance.. you might catch something.
19. MC Hammer – U Can’t Touch This
Yah, this song was iconic. I can remember a time in the world when this was the hip hop scene. I know we’ve come a long way since then, but you have to admit, even you had a pair of Hammer pants. Everyone did. He set trends, he set styles, he rapped, and now he raps for Jesus. Do you suppose he’s gonna tell Jesus “Caint tuch dis, Jesus!” If so, he’s going straight to hell. And the Devil will touch it. Inappropriately. Anyways, what were we saying? Oh yah, very iconic. Important for that transition from the 80’s rap and hip hop to what we find in the music scene today. Break it down!
18. Metallica – Enter Sandman
Metallica is one of those bands who sold out a long time ago, but remarkably – they still sell out.. every fuckin show they put on. You cannot deny that this band is a force to be reckoned with and what better song to represent them with than this one? This album was a nice transition for them and really made that heavy metal sound more mainstream, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, because in order for the shit to get big for all of us to like, it had to get popular. It paved the way for such great bands as Slip Knot, Korn, Disturbed.. and pretty much every heavy sounding rock band that emerged post grunge in the late 90s.
17. Run DMC/Aerosmith – Walk This Way
Already a popular song, Run DMC took this song and with the help and permission of the visionaries in Aerosmith, they combined rock and rap. This was the first time this shit had been done. Now its done all the time, and everyone can thank these pioneers for paving the way that would make modern music possible.
16. Soundgarden – Black Hole Sun
This iconic song from the grunge era of the 90s is easily one of the most recognizable songs in the last 20 years. Everyone’s heard this song. Even dead people. But proof that you don’t have to be stoned to make lyrical magic, Soundgarden front man Chris Cornell explains the meaning of this song: "It's just sort of a surreal dreamscape, a weird, play-with-the-title kind of song." He also said that "lyrically it's probably the closest to me just playing with words for words' sake, of anything I've written. I guess it worked for a lot of people who heard it, but I have no idea how you'd begin to take that one literally." In another interview he elaborated further, stating, "It's funny because hits are usually sort of congruent, sort of an identifiable lyric idea, and that song pretty much had none. The chorus lyric is kind of beautiful and easy to remember. Other than that, I sure didn't have an understanding of it after I wrote it. I was just sucked in by the music and I was painting a picture with the lyrics. There was no real idea to get across."
15. Queen – We Will Rock You
Not only is this song one of the most recognizable songs of all time, it’s also probably one of if not the greatest rock anthem of not just a generation or genre, but ever. Its like the theme to Rocky, which didn’t make the list, but it just gets you fucking pumped right? And you even forget that Freddie Mercury died of AIDS.
14. Jimi Hendrix – Purple Haze
Yah, you didn’t think the number two greatest guitarist of all time wouldn’t make this list did you? (If you’re wondering why I say number two, you’ve obviously not paid any fuckin attention and I advise you to go back to goddamned 2010 and read) You can’t have a list like this without Hendrix who’s badass guitar skills and poetic lyrics really moved the Psychodelic Rock phase of the Rock n Roll scene. The real question is, is the Purple Haze brought on by a girl? Or drugs? Knowing Hendrix, it was probably both. *Note: If you’re wondering why I selected this song and not something far more recognizable such as All Along the Watchtower, the answer is simple: That song was written by Bob Dylan.
13. The Beatle – Help!
As the last song fades away with asking for help, so too does this one enter the same way. The Beatles needed help for feeling down, which I have to say.. I really don’t believe. But these guys came over to the US and created a stir in the American public that had even the likes of Elvis worried. These limey bastards withstood the test of time because everyone and I mean EVERYONE knows who they are. And their music is still iconic. Don’t deny it, even if you’re not a huge fan.
12. Dr. Dre – Ain’t Nothin but a G Thang
Off of the album “The Chronic” which lets face it, you can take any fucking song off of that album and call it iconic. The whole album was. This was a transitional period in rap music where it went from that simple easy happy rap that people like MC Hammer and Will Smith did and transitioned into the gangster rap with Dr. Dre, Snoop, Tupac, Biggie Smalls.. all those fuckers stemmed from this album, and every current successful rap artist out there has to credit this album because it made it happen. That’s fuckin iconic.
11. Pearl Jam – Alive
This song is the anthem of anyone who has been alive. Personally I listen to this song every time I’ve been in or close to a near death experience, car accident, or some awful shit. It’s iconic to any generation because we’ve all been through bad shit, but if you’re here reading this.. well then you’re still fuckin alive aren’t you? The screamed the voice of an angry generation in the 90s, but it doesn’t end there, because when you’re iconic, you can cross oceans of time. Like you’re Dracula or some shit.
Holy fuck, its that time. We made it to the top ten. This list is nice and warm and so is your nostalgia, so lets kick it down a flight of stairs and keep it rolling. Do you know the top ten? I bet you fuckin don’t. Lets do this shit.
CCR – Fortunate Son
Not only is this song iconic, it’s the voice of a generation screaming about the unfair and unjust politics that sent us into a war in Vietnam which most American’s didn’t understand, want or support. But the soldiers who were drafted to this atrocity went and did their job and kicked ass the way we fuckin do, even if we were sticking our fuckin nose where it didn’t belong. Like normal. You know this song, its been in every Vietnam movie ever made… yah its that iconic.
Elvis – Jailhouse Rock
This is the guy who pioneered rock n roll man. You can’t deny everything Elvis did was iconic. How do you pick just one song of his that’s iconic? You can’t really.. but in this case, since I had to.. I picked one where he was young. So at least all you girlys would have something nice to look at. There is no denying that still to this day.. Elvis is and will always be The King of Rock n Roll.
Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit
Once again we have another song which was an anthem of a generation. It was iconic because this song was one of the few that ushered out the sound of sex drugs and rock n roll of the 1980's and ushered in the grunge movement and the 1990’s and modern music sound. Sadly there would not be a ton of music from the band as we all know, Cobain was a dipshit and blew his brains out with a shotgun. Maybe he thought he was a zombie himself. Whatever the reason, that single act of selfish bullshit solidified this bands place in history, they would never be forgotten and neither will their first big hit.
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince – Parents Just Don’t Understand
Yah, you’re thinking right. That’s Will fuckin Smith. The Actor. Remember back in the day before he acted he rapped? That’s how they named the show the Fresh Prince.. If you’re too young to have seen the Fresh Prince.. watch Nick at Night or something, you little fucker. This song was iconic not because it ushered in some era in rap music which changed style and taste like MC Hammer or Dr. Dre… No this song is iconic because this is the first rap song to ever win a Grammy. I mean, sure it’s a Grammy so who gives a shit.. but its important because this is when the world finally recognized rap was a real style of music. Like it or not, Rap was here to stay.
Tom Cochrane – Life is a Highway
This is one of those songs where when you fist get your drivers license if you didn’t take off without your parents and crank this song on a cd (or tape).. you’re an idiot and you missed your chance for greatness. This is a timeless song, its not spectacular but it is iconic. It speaks volumes of riding life like a cheap whore highway. Its been remade a few times, regrettably most notably by country singers. The good news? Not even country can ruin this tune because you should never try and change perfection. That includes a harmonica. You know you had one when you were a kid and you wished you could play it. You can’t. Its ok. I can’t either.
Michael Jackson – Thriller
From the King of Rock to the King of Pop. There’s something about this song that I don’t care how creepy the guy was in real life, you knew when this song came out.. that it was .. it. It had everything a song could want and people from all across the lands, black, white, purple and green… they all loved Thriller and they all still do. It summed up everything about the MTV Generation of the 1980s, when music videos reigned supreme. (Again, that was before bullshit like Jersey Shore) It’s a time lost to the world, as is the artist who made the song and video, but its and his legacy lives on at number 5.
Jesus Jones – Right Here Right Now
If I’m telling the truth which I never always do, I heard this song some time ago and it was this song that made me think, “That was a fuckin iconic song..” and thus the list was created. Therefore, I had to rank it high up, despite what you may think. This song was what was going on in the rest of the world when here in the US we were consumed with Seattle and the grunge scene. This song however is another one of those songs who can take the test of time and remain good. Its not like it’s the Gin Blossoms or something shitty. No bitches, the lyrics alone are one of those important messages, like riding the highway.. Right here, right now.. watching the world wake up..from history.. Almost like the song Right Now by Van Halen – which didn’t make the list.. because Van Halen is too fucking incredible for a list.
Sir Mix-A-Lot – Baby Got Back
Fuck you man, this song almost got number one. If you say you don’t know every fucking word to this song you’re probably a fucking liar who needs to have the shit kicked out of them. Everyone knows this song. You may like country and hate rap, or love rock or the blues or jazz or anything other than rap you can imagine.. and you still know this song. Its amazing. No song in modern culture has had a cross over effect such as this song. It is immortal. That’s a fucking fact.
Scott Joplin – The Entertainer
This song is a rag time two step. What does that mean? It means it was made for people to fucking dance to, bitch! How is this iconic? You KNOW this song. And it was written in 1902. This song is really amazing that it has crossed the bridge of time to make its way into the hearts minds and soul of people all over the world. I can remember when I was a kid there was a merry go round outside of McDonalds. And when you’d pop in a quarter and ride this goddamned ride which thinking back, sucked ass, but hey at the time it was cool.. well it played that song. Also, every cell phone I’ve had since I got my first one in 1999 has had this song as a ring tone. Its huge, its iconic, and it’s the entertainer. And if it doesn’t make you scream “ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!!” you’re probably dead.
Ludwig Van Beethoven – Symphony #5
Did you see that shit coming? You should have. This is easily the most recognizable piece of music in the history of the world. You need to take into consideration that the guy wrote this didn’t just write drums, bass, and guitar. He wrote every goddamn piece of the orchestra. And in 1804-1808 he was THE premier rock star of the world. He was bigger than Elvis could ever hope to be. There is no comparison to what this guy did. Name another song more iconic and I’ll name you a fucking retard. Everyone knows this song, and it has been well known for over 200 years. Furthermore, if you want to think about how amazing this rock star really was.. he was already going DEAF by the time he composed this little diddy. And yet, despite his inability to hear, he was still able to tell when the musicians did it right or wrong. That’s more than a rock star, that’s a rock GOD. That is the worlds Greatest musical Legend. You may bow. And so without further adieu.. the Most Iconic Song.. of all fuckin time.
*Disclaimer, I don’t own any of these songs, I raped them off of youtube.com as you can plainly see and because blogger is officially owned by google just like youtube is I don’t see why I should have to do all this crap but my lawyer suggested it.
And if you wanna sue.. go fuck yourself. I don’t have money anyways. That’s why I didn’t put the star wars theme song in this list. So eat shit George Lucas.
