Good, Evil, and Stupidity

Questions on good and evil always persist. Today we won’t necessarily talk about definitions, but the source, the root of all evil, where it started, how it survives, and what we do to keep it alive with our stupidity! But first, i have some news.

I use the follow up graphic because i was too lazy to make an update one. So rather than saying UPDATE! which would be far more appropriate, I will instead use follow up.. as in, this is a follow up to my post about the countries of the world that I did back in February while the olympics were going on. Namely one country, Canadia. I talked about how very few things in this world that are good ever came from canadia. I recently discovered something that has come from Canadia that I for one, simply cannot live without. 

My BlackBerry. I can’t live without it, and if you have one, you know what I’m talking about. It is quite possibly the worlds finest creation of all time in the history of the world. times infinity. plus two. pi.

I use this damn phone so much, for lots of different things, but the number one way i use it is to look up porn be able to check my email for important work related type things. The company who makes these are from Canadia, and so, I have to add that to the very short list of all good things that have come from Canadia.

In case you forgot what else is good in this world that has come from the great white north, lemme refresh your memory!

 

Hockey came from canadia. And it is one of the finest of all sports.  Its not played by pussies like baseball. And fighting is allowed. it is quite possibly the perfect sport.

 

Dirtdog 4x4 who makes these sick ass cargo straps I have on my jeep. They’re from Canadia, and its a fine product and I love it more than I love crunchy tacos, and that says a fuckin LOT ok!?

 

Pamela Anderson also came from Canadia. if you don’t like her, I don’t care who you are, there’s something wrong with YOU. I love her, like Borat, and she loves me too. One day she’ll respond to my letters.. or else.

So thats it! Thats all Canadia is good for, eh?! So thats now 4 things that that place is good for, but four goddamned GOOD things! So, I raise my glass of koolaid to you, canadia! Good job!

Thats it.

 

Moving on.

The root of all evil is not Canadia. They have nothing to do with evil, insofar as I know. But they might, who knows? No no, this post goes out to all the ladies in the world. You know you’re it. The one, the only.. the root of all evil. And guys, you, and I, and every other male on this earth, is a fucking idiot. Congrats, now before we talk about WHY, lets follow the rules.

Yo sound the bell, schools in sucka!

I am a male, and I know the full extent of my brain power. It is not a high capacity, just like every other male in the world. I do know one thing most don’t though, and that is the truth. Its what I specialize in. And because of my vast knowledge of the truth, i could be the only male on this earth to justify the root of all evil, and though I’m like every guy and have said “That chick is evil..” – I can actually vouch the evilness to be real, and logically anchored in fact. It is through my many years of perfecting bar hopping and listening to such inspirational speakers as the Reverend MC Hammer. Thats how bitch. Lets do this this.

We’ll start off with a history lesson. Its called the beginning of the earth. I’m not talking about what science class teaches you was the start of the globe.  Nope, I’m sorry, but I just cannot accept the fact that all the right molocules that no one has a clue where they came from, came together at the exact right moment, and BOOOM! Life. Hence the big bang theory. Thats the stupidest shit I or anyone else has ever heard of, so fuck science class and fuck you Darwin. You’re all full of shit and I’d rather see you fall down on a bed of nails than have to listen to your retarded rhetoric. Please take your over opinionated selves somewhere else.

No my friends, I’m talking about God. He’s THE Man. The one and only. I’ve heard many women say that God could easily be a woman. This is a falsehood that is perpetuated through lies and evil. The facts are in the good book. How do we know God is a man? Because every story of God and the beginning the world say God made MAN in HIS image. This includes Muslims and Jews too. They say the same shit. So sorry ladies, you’ve been debunked. With logic and fact.

So God makes the world, why? Because He is God and he fuckin can. Take that. People say that makes no sense. These people are retards. Lets face it, if you ask someone if they were God what would they do? Most people would not say “Make Heaven and Earth” – oh no, they’d buy whatever they wanted. They’d make themselves invisible, they’d fly. They’d go where they wanted, they’d have a nice house, they’d enjoy the girls dressing room at the gym. Whatever, the answers are all the same though, and that is, “I’d do whatever the fuck I want.” And thats exactly what the real God did. Makes perfect sense. So God makes earth because he can and then he decides to make a guy, his name is Adam. He makes birdies, and cows, and chickens, gives Adam a fucking sweet place to live. Adam goes about his routine, but he’s lonely. Every species has a companion.. except Adam. Why? Because God knows that to make a female would be TROUBLE. But Adam is a bitch and gets tired of whacking off, and asks God for a hoe to hang with. God is reluctant. He tells Adam it will be hard, and cost him an arm and a leg to make. Adam says shit, thats a lot. What can I get for a rib?

And then God made woman. He knew it was a bad idea from the get go, but he did it anyways, because God is a fucking awesome guy and wanted to make poor lonely Adam happy. He calls her Eve. Because the eve is when you’re loneliest and want some nookie.

Life is then good. 

Then God’s arch enemy, the devil decides he’s gonna cause some trouble, because, see though God is rad, he is like any other dad and he makes rules you have no clue why you have to follow. So he says, look, you can do as you like, life rules. But don’t eat a fuckin apple!

Adam says, Why, pops? “BECAUSE I FUCKIN SAID SO AND I’M THE BOSS!!!” Adam retorts with, “You got it, i fuckin hate apples!” Enter the devil. He says, aieet, Adam and God are tight. I can’t break that relationship, because Adam is a loyal dog. That shall be his undoing. So he finds Eve. It went a lil something like this:

Yo Eve.

Hi.

You look damn fine.

*Blushing* Thank you, Mr. Snake.

No, I’m serious, you’re so hot, I’d love to take you out..

Oh but I have a husband.

He’s a lucky guy.

*blushing!* You’re so nice!

Know what’d look great on you, other than me?

*still blushing* What’s that?

Apple juice on your chin. Saw this chick in the other Garden of Eden doing it, it was so hot. I mean, she wasn’t as hot as you, not even close, but that apple excriment dripping down her chin.. OmG it was so fuckin hot. You should try it out.

We’re not allowed to eat apples! :(!!!!

Says who? Your man? Pshh, he’s just trying to hide how hot he thinks it is.

Well yah, my man, and God.

Nother example of trying to keep women from being as hot as they can be, thats cool, i mean, if you wanna be kinda homely and not as desireable as you totally could be. I mean, I’d still hit it but you know.. Whatever and all. Its all good, don’t worry, your still hot.

FUCK ADAM! I’m not HIS bitch! I’m gonna do what ever the fuck I want! *omnomnomnomnom!!!* Apples are fuckin good, you compliment me more than my man, Mr. Snake.

You bet I do, well I gotta go baby, you go back to your man now.

So Eve then, with apple cum running down her chin goes back to Adam and she, now that she is empowered by the fruit of knowledge, tells Adam, “Eat this.”  Adam inspects. Oh hell no, God said not to!!! “I’M YOUR WIFE!!!! YOU WILL DO AS *I* SAY!!!!!”

“Nope, not a chance, God said no, so I say no!” At this point, woman uses what women use to get guys to do as they want. Sex. Eve, being completely naked, she grabs a breast, and smiles, she rubs up against Adam, “Baby, do you want this?” Adam, being a guy, “OH FUCK YES I DO!!!” Eve, being evil: “THEN EAT THIS!” Adam, thinking with the wrong head.. GIMME THAT FUCKIN APPLE!

This was Adam’s first mistake, he did what he was told to do, because of the promise of sex.  God then comes down to earth and is like, Dude, wtf? – Adam’s response: “She made me do it God!!!” Adam’s second mistake, blaming a bitch. Everyone knows you can always blame a bitch but it doesn’t matter because you should have KNOWN not to trust a bitch! And so, man kind was exiled from the Garden of Eden.  

Now lets break it down. You might be thinking, this is not Eve’s fault! But you’re wrong, and we’ll talk about why.

First off, Eve knew not to eat the apple, no matter who or what said. In the history of the world, we’ve constantly seen women who want to break rules set down by someone smarter than them. Sure we’ve seen men do this too. How can we blame women for man’s poor actions? Same way women want to claim the good stuff. Ever hear, Behind Every great man, there’s a woman telling him what to do? I know you have. Well guess what, behind every bad one, theres at least one chick telling him what to do. The fact is, women like to be bossy and tell guys what to do, and since we like to please women, and we want to continually get laid, we do as we’re told. Its easier that way. Apples are not the worlds greatest fruit. Sure, they’re ok, but because of what Eve did with that thing, it automatically makes them the most heinous of all fruits. This is also the reason why I don’t use Apple computers. Apple computers are like women. They’re constantly trying to take credit for every cool thing out there and everything wonderful in the world, and like women, they also lie. This is why I chose windows. Tried and true. Sure they don’t always work, and yah they can get viruses if you look at too much porn, but its a risk worth taking. Its what makes looking up porn EXCITING! Ever think of that? Nope, you didn’t. But now that I tell you that, it clicks.. OH YEAH, the light is on. Window’s for life.

Maybe if god had made something not worth eating be the forbidden fruit it would have been easier to ignore the temptation to eat it. Something really nasty, like litter box tootsie rolls. OR greenbeans. Lets face it, if there is a veggie that is straight evil from the get go, it is a green bean. They should never be consumed, and only force fed to terrorists as a nice alternative to waterboarding. Maybe its just me. But back to the task at hand. Apples are good, but their not THAT good. Truth.

Eve was tempted by the devil. Would you be? Of course you say no, who would be tempted by the Devil? 

If I was walking along and this guy told me to do something, I’d be so scared out of my mind, I totally wouldn’t do it, fuck no, I’d turn and run! Eve should have turned and ran, but she didnt. Oh no, she had a nice talk with him, why? Because he complimented her. Every girl in the world is sucked into conversation by some asshole who is telling her she is attractive and what not. Eve’s first sin was not eating the apple, it was vanity. But she didn’t talk to this guy above right? She talked to a snake. Going back to my post on FEARS you know that snakes are one of the scariest things on earth right? Ok, ok, maybe you need a refresher course.

This is the guy that Eve talked to. Now, I can totally understand why she would hold a conversation with him, can’t you? He’s so innocent and pleasant looking, its no wonder why she trusted him!!

Dear Eve, you’re a bitch. you fucked everyones life for all eternity up becasue you talked to WHAT? Women continue to talk to snakes, though. I know I personally have seen who an ex ended up with after me, and lets face it, he’s a snake. Guys are always trying to snake their way up some girls skirt, and many many girls will let them, because their vanity makes them inherently evil. Thats right ladies, its not your fault you’re evil. Its Eve’s fault. But with the proper dose of the truth, you could all be made to not be SO evil. But, girls don’t want to listen to anyone, they are independent, they are WOMAN HEAR THEM ROAR!! So the evil persists. And we let it happen. Men, we’re retards. Thats right boys, we’re not innocent by any means. And now its time to insult ourselves with the truth.

Women are evil, we know that, we’ve always known it, and yet we LET them be evil, because lets face it.. other guys are just not attractive. Sometimes we get a strong  resolve to resist them, much like adam did, and then what happens? They use their weapons of mass destructions under their clothes to lure us in. Talk about shock and awe! IF you’re married then you know, the shock is that your wife wants to have sex, and you’re in awe over the possibility. What little IQ you had before is now gone. Idiot.

I myself am a bit smarter than the average male, but even i cannot resist an opportunity to get my freak on with an attractive lady. Even if she has devil horns. 

Now, women, who are all steaming over the truth that has proved their unstoppable evil, are grinning, evilly, as you deny your own stupidity, guys. Let put it to you this way? Have you ever dated bitch? And did you put up with her shit? Wasn’t that stupid?

The fact is we’re all after the same goal. Pleasure. Sex, happiness, sex, crunchy tacos, cars, money, fame, sex, women. Guy’s will do anything for one thing, and that is the picture you see here.

We all want that really hot girl,  and we want her smiling, and more so we want her smiling at US! This is not easily achieved. We have to put up with a lot of bullshit to get to the endzone on this one. And we will gladly do it for the promise of her weapons of mass destruction that she keeps concealed under her clothes.

We will do it at all costs even if they piss us off endlessly. And they will piss you off endlessly. They do it because they can, just like God does what he does because he can. Because women ate the fruit of knowledge before us, they are, without a doubt far superior in brain power. They can use us to do great things, or to do terrible things, but the point is, they can use us to do ANYTHING because they have the knowledge, and the power to do it. And they have the free will to do it. Women are in charge boys, because we have made it so. I’m not saying I’m for taking the power back. Hell no, I too fall into the terrible stupidity of males to do what I can for the all loving nookie. its in the man’s code book after all. 

“Never piss off the provider of your nookie, else your nookie will be revoked.”

I know it is, becasue I’ve actually written the book. Soon to be in a Barne’s and Noble near you! Adam was the first man, but he is also a typical guy. he did what he had to do to get laid and keep his pretty lady smiling at him, even if by doing so he allowed her to take all power, embrace evil, and in turn, set the standard for all men to be straight up dumbasses.

Its a fact of life boys, just as women cannot help that they are evil, we too cannot help that we are, in fact, retarded. There is a simple truth in all this though, and here it is. Were it not for Eve, and her desire to be more important than her man, and her vanity at taking a compliment from another guy and letting herself be manipulated by a scary beast, we’d all be in the garden of evil right now, and we’d be playing nude volleyball with Pamela Anderson. That is a fact.

Instead we’re stuck with our wives and girlfriends who will only get naked when they want you to do something for them.. (which if you’re smart, you do REALLY well, so they’ll want you to do A LOT OF SHIT for them!) and the random naked person we might get to see on the street. And that person on the street… well thats rarely pretty.

Motivation.

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